


little dumpling

by pissedofsandwich



Series: found families and biological ones [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Star Trek Beyond Spoilers, a lot of sulu family feels, enterprise family feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 07:12:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7608697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pissedofsandwich/pseuds/pissedofsandwich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Uhura touches his upper arm comfortingly. “You’re going to make it back.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Hikaru tries to believe. “The Captain always saves our asses. I’m just not sure if she won’t be royally pissed at me. Angry five-year-olds are basically Klingons.”</p><p>Hikaru fights to make it back in time for Demora's Career Day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	little dumpling

**Author's Note:**

> 1) if my nearsighted eyes didn't fool me, i saw ben at jim's birthday party. if my nearsighted eyes fooled me, i'm sorry for the inaccuracies.  
> 2) actually, sorry for all the inaccuracies, in both plot and language. i'm not a native english speaker lmao, but please do point it out!  
> 3) thank you to [popoyoy11](http://archiveofourown.org/users/popoyoy11/pseuds/popoyoy11) for cheering me on and listening to all of my sulu rambles. i love you babe, get well soon <3  
> 4) i'm super delighted to see where they took sulu's characterization to. it meant a lot for me, as a bi asian, to see this particular asian being cute with his husband and daughter in space. i hope you enjoyed the movie as much as i did, and i hope you like this 6k mess of feelings <3

The nickname ‘Dumpling’ for Demora is given by the Captain. Hikaru spends a good five minutes wondering if Jim only comes up with that because he's Asian, and is about to remind him that he's Japanese and dumplings are, historically, Chinese, but when he takes a good look at his daughter, he realizes there is some truth to what the Captain says. Demora's cheeks are round and puffy. They do have some resemblance to dumplings.

It's not long before the crew starts adopting the nickname too. They grow fond of Demora quickly. Now, whenever they dock back at Yorktown, and the Captain gives them some free time while the ship undergoes some repairs, the crew is quick to ask the helmsman to bring his daughter. Hikaru likes to pretend that he doesn't want to share her, but he secretly enjoys it when others talk about her. It makes him feel proud, in ways that only a father could, even if they're just talking about how cute or adorable she is. Demora, in contrast, showcases exactly how she feels about the attention—she loves it. She revels in it. And it only fuels the affection that the crew already has for her.

"So she has... how many uncles and aunts now?" Ben laughs, on one of the nights where Hikaru could slither away to a corner in the mess hall to talk to his two favorite beings in the world. Demora is sitting on his lap, grinning. Her hair is in classic double braids—a skill Hikaru hasn't yet acquired.

"A lot," Hikaru grins back. "How about we count? You already know how to count, right?" He looks to Demora, who looks offended at the notion.

"Of course I do!" she says adamantly. "I am five _and a half_. I’m already big.”

"Let's test your skills, then!" Hikaru challenges.

Demora puts on what Hikaru dubs as her game-face. She gets that from him—the determination, and also the nose. "Uncle Jim, Aunt Uhura, Uncle Scotty, Uncle Spock, Uncle Len, Uncle Chekov—"

"Is that Dumpling?" A voice with a thick Russian accent says. Hikaru looks back to see Chekov jogging over to him, dinner in hand. "Ohh, I want to talk to her!"

Hikaru shifts his comm so Chekov could be in the view. Demora, having heard Chekov's voice, waves excitedly at the navigator. "Uncle Chekov! Hi!"

Chekov makes a tut-tut noise. "What did I say about calling me Chekov? Call me Uncle Pavel, even though I'm too young to be an uncle," Chekov says.

Demora looks sheepish. "Hi, Uncle Pavel."

"That's more like it!" Chekov gives her two thumbs up. "Hi, Ben," he gives a nod to Ben, who politely nods back.

Demora gasps suddenly and goes to address Hikaru. "Papa! Career Day!" she says.

At Hikaru’s confused look, Ben explains, “Her school is having Career Day in two Earth-days. It’s why we called you today. She really wants you to come.”

"Will you come? Please, Papa, can you come?” Demora says. “You can tell the whole class about the Romulan bomb-thing. Nobody believes me when I tell them my papa is a hero.”

It isn't actually a bomb, but Hikaru supposes anything that can explode counts as a bomb in a five-year-old's eyes. "In two days?" He glances at Chekov, who immediately shows him the time on his PADD. The days seem to blur together, especially when days and nights are artificial, almost three years into this mission. His face lights up as he remembers they're going to be on Yorktown on exactly that day, and then stay for a temporary three days while the ship is repaired. He turns back to Demora's expectant face and smiles the widest in weeks. "Well, looks like your class is going to get a visit from the helmsman of the starship Enterprise.”

Demora lets out an excited shriek. Ben pulls his hands closer around Demora, and his face mirrors Hikaru's. "Papa, please, can you bring the tanaka?" Demora says.

Hikaru grimaces. "It's called katanas, and, no, Dumpling. Katanas are not for show," he says. "But I'll do something better!" he adds quickly when Demora's mouth begins to turn down.

Chekov elbows his shoulder, but his eyes are on the Demora's. "What do you say if I come along with your papa to your Career Day? I can tell your friends how that fight on the Romulan bomb-thing really went down, and who the _real_ hero who saved your father and Captain Kirk is." His sentence is barely done when Demora lets out another happy shriek, making as if she wants to hug Chekov.

"Yes yes yes!" she shouts. "Papa, can Uncle Pavel come too?"

Who can say no to those eyes? Certainly not Hikaru. "Of course," he says. "But don't feed the kids lies about Russia, Chekov. I don't want my daughter to think dumplings were _inwented_ in Russia."

Chekov snickers, and winks at Demora. "Don't worry, no lies. Anyway, I have to go. Duty calls." He lifts up his dinner tray for Demora to see. "See you later, Dumpling!"

"Bye, Uncle Pavel!"

Hikaru stares fondly after Chekov's retreating back. Out of everyone in the crew, Chekov seems to be the one who falls hardest for Demora. Hikaru doesn't blame him. He turns to Ben. "You have to get the okay from her teachers, though," he says.

"Two legendary Starfleet members going to her school? I don't think anyone would mind," Ben says.

"I wouldn't call it legendary, but I'm flattered you think that."

"Oh, no, that's just what the news are saying about you. Me? I think you're a flyboy who can never stay grounded long enough," Ben says, and Hikaru's heart clenches. It's been nearly five months since he last saw the two of them in person. He misses them dearly. "And also," Ben adds softly, looking into Hikaru's eyes, "I think you're way too late for dinner."

Demora yawns, burying her head in Ben's shoulder. Hikaru yearns to be back with them, in their warm little upside-down apartment in the twisting of Yorktown, and he finds his hand reaching out to touch Ben's, reflected on the holo. "I'm counting down the hours," he tells Ben.

Ben smiles. "So, looks like it's Demora's sleepy time," he says, getting up, hoisting Demora so her head is leaning on his shoulder. "Say good night to your papa."

"Bye bye, Papa," Demora mumbles.

"Bye, Dumpling," Hikaru says, and tries to not look so sad, smoothing his face to a neutral expression as Ben cuts off the feed. By the way Chekov is looking at him from two tables away, he didn't succeed.

-

Ben and Hikaru meet when Hikaru's still in the Academy. It's your every other meet-cute stories: Ben's family owns the best establishment that offers caffeinated drinks in all of San Fransisco, and Hikaru always goes there for a fix, to get through all of his miserable mornings at the Academy. Hikaru sees Ben, develops a crush, panics because he thinks Ben is way out of his league. Ben sees Hikaru, develops a crush, panics because he thinks Hikaru is way out of his league. Before Hikaru ships off on his first mission, Ben sees him off, and Hikaru can't help but kiss him, thinking this would be his only chance to.

Of course, he survives and Nero dies, and Ben visits him at the Academy with Hikaru's favorite caffeinated ground-beans. They date, get married, adopt Demora, and four years later, here they are.

Hikaru supposes it must've not been easy. Danger, for some reason, always has reason to come to the Enterprise. Hikaru likes the thrill, remembers how alive he feels when he unleashes his katana that day with Jim on Vulcan, remembers how fearful he feels when he thought he's not going to make it, remembers how cold and daunting the captain chair feels, until he sits down on it. He loves it still.

But space is infinite, and they're all so small and insignificant and tired, and they want to go home. Some place where gravity isn't artificial, some place that actually grounds them. No one says it aloud, but Hikaru sees it. It's in the way the Captain walks with his shoulders hunched, when he thought no one's looking. His captain logs. Sure, everyone's mellowed down a bit at this point, but Hikaru feels what they all feel. Frustration. Losing sense of purpose and, worst of all, hope.

Hikaru shakes his head. He can't let all this space depression get him down. He has a Career Day to look forward to, little kids to impress. They all just need a break, to be away from this. To remember what it means to be on a ship in space. He thumbs the edge of Demora's picture on his console and smiles.

Yorktown has never looked more beautiful.

-

Demora nearly falls when she runs across the plaza to hug him. Hikaru gets down on his knees and wraps his arms around her, lifting her up. Ben follows soon after, and Chekov would call him a sap if he ever says it out loud, but it feels like the first time again, looking at him at the counter through the window. He steals a kiss over Demora's shoulder, and when he pulls away, he feels a lot younger.

"Come on, dinner is ready," Ben says, reaching out to hold his hands.

And Hikaru Sulu is going home.

With Hikaru's salary, he can get Ben and Demora the best suite in all of Yorktown, but Ben's never been a fan of luxury and Demora loves this old-fashioned wooden home. Hikaru loves whatever they love. They get a hovercar to carry them throughout the journey. Demora wouldn't stop talking and Hikaru can't even catch half of her words, but he loves it.

"I'm so excited for tomorrow," Demora is saying. "Tell them how you make ships fly! And when you’re the captain! And how you kicked butt!" She makes little punching and kicking gestures. Demora rattles off a few more of the things she totally wants Hikaru to tell her friends, and Hikaru feels the lightest he's been in years. He glances at Ben only to see that he's already looking at him.

 _I love you_ , Hikaru mouths.

 _I love you too_ , Ben mouths back.

Hikaru sleeps with Ben for the first time in forever that night, curled up against him in a king-sized bed, lips pressed to his temple. Demora, claiming she's already a grown-up, sleeps alone in her own room. It saddens Hikaru, to think that just five months ago she couldn't even sleep without the lights on, to think that there would be some great moments that he would miss.

"You're thinking too loud," Ben mutters. His hands are on Hikaru's chest, warm and gentle.

"Sorry," Hikaru mumbles.

"Don't be sad," Ben says. "I'm here. You're here. We're here. _We're here_ , Hikaru."

Hikaru has nothing to say to that, so he kisses Ben, long and deep, like he's been longing to. Ben complies easily, his body going slack, the tension melting away. Hikaru's missed this. He's missed all this.

Ben pulls him closer, and Hikaru mouths his neck. Down to his chest, and back up again to his face, just because he misses it. His hands travel lower—

And that's when his communicator beeps.

Ben freezes, then heaves out a laugh. "Go answer it," he says.

Hikaru whines. "I don't want to talk to the Captain," he says. "I want to talk to you."

"We weren't doing much talking," Ben points out.

With a sigh, Hikaru answers the call. A rescue mission, a ship on a science exploration stranded past the nebula of an uncharted planet, Altamid. There’s silence as he hangs up his comm.

"Do you... do you have to go now?" Ben finally says.

Hikaru stands up, picking up his yellow shirt from where it's folded neatly on the bedside table. He wordlessly puts it on. "I'll still make it to Career Day, I promise," he says resolutely. "And Chekov, too."

Ben smiles understandingly. He sits up, gesturing for Hikaru to come closer. When he does, Ben wraps his arms around Hikaru and nuzzles his neck. "Just be safe, okay?" he says once he pulls away. "And say goodbye to Demora first. She'll be crushed if you leave without telling her."

"Yeah," Hikaru nods, putting on his boots. Ben takes his robe and slips it on, walking Hikaru out of their bedroom. There's a resigned air to the way he looks at Hikaru, and it makes Hikaru wonder if it will always be like this, him leaving and Ben seeing him off, having no idea whether Hikaru will survive or perish in space.

“Hey,” Hikaru says, stopping in his tracks. He rests his hand on Ben’s shoulder, gentle. “This is just a quick rescue mission. We just swoop in, collect the crew, save the galaxy, and I’ll be here before you know it.” He presses a kiss on Ben’s forehead. When Hikaru moves to pull away, Ben’s arms only tighten around his waist.

Hikaru hasn’t even left, but he already misses home.

-

They’re attacked. Hikaru almost wants to laugh. Why did he think this could be quick? The Enterprise is a beacon for evil, vengeful aliens. No wonder their transfer rate is the highest among other starships. You have to be completely insane if you want to stay on this ship for a prolonged time.

“Mr. Sulu, you have the bridge,” the Captain says for what seems to be the umpteenth time. Sulu has forgotten how many times he’s had to be Acting Captain as the Captain goes off to do heroic self-sacrificing things.

“Aye, Captain,” Hikaru says, and shares a brief look with Chekov as he goes to sit on the chair. He’s taken Demora’s old-fashioned photograph off the console, and it’s sitting snugly in his pocket. He pats it once, just to make sure it’s still there, and focuses himself on getting them out of this place alive. None of these efforts pay off, however. Their ship is infiltrated by the enemy aliens, and the ones who are not killed, are captured. Hikaru yells out orders, does whatever he can to keep the ship flying, but then the warp core is gone, the propulsion units are cut off, and what’s left of the USS Enterprise is the saucer, falling blind into the untouched enemy territory.

The Captain appears on the bridge, ordering them to get on their escape pods. Then they’re ejecting out of what’s left on the ship, out into outer space, with no idea if they’re going to survive, or why they’re being attacked. A little part of Hikaru’s heart dies a little as he watches the saucer plummet down to the planet, uncontrolled. Just like that, the ship is destroyed. He may have a real home now, but for a long time, Enterprise has become his second home. And it’s gone in a flash.

Hikaru slips his hand into his pocket, squeezes the picture of Demora with a heavy heart. He’s not going to make in time to Career Day.

-

When he regains consciousness, he’s being shoved off his pod. There’s a weapon being pressed to his back and he’s ordered to walk. He breathes a sigh of relief as he realizes most of the crew members are here. They’re not dead, and neither is he. This is good enough. It’s not ideal, but Hikaru is certain he will somehow make it out of this alive, even if he can’t make it to Career Day. That’s what the crew of the Enterprise does: they get into less than ideal situations, and emerge victoriously.

He looks around, trying to relocate another member of the bridge crew. He sees Uhura, and feels a little more at ease. Uhura is an excel at diplomacy and negotiation, and though it may seem that these Altamid natives are not looking for a friendly verbal exchange, it can at least buy them time. There’s just her, though. He tries not to assume the worst. But as he exchanges looks from Uhura, he knows he’s not the only one thinking it.

They’re all locked up in one massive cave with maximum security. Hikaru has no idea why. Are they a leverage, give Krall the ancient alien relic in exchange for the crew? That’s assuming the Captain still has the artifact. What happens if he doesn’t?

Uhura approaches him, the same questions lingering in her eyes. “Why hasn’t he killed any of us yet?”

“I don’t know, but for the moment I’m grateful he hasn’t,” Hikaru says. “How many members are lost?”

“Too many,” Uhura shakes her head. “But we still have number. If we can just find a way out of here, send a distress call…” She looks around, searching for a crack they can slide through. Her face doesn’t fall when she finds none. She faces Hikaru again. “Thankfully, everyone’s mostly uninjured.”

“That’s good.” But will it stay that way? Hikaru shakes off the negative feeling. “Why do you think they’re after the artifact? The Teenaxi Delegation rejected it. But why would they, if it has so much value to it?”

“Then no one knows it has value,” Uhura says. “Except for these people.”

Imprisonment gives him too much time to think. In between searching and failing to form an escape route, Hikaru thinks of Ben and Demora. He knows he shouldn’t; in missions, especially one as high-risk as this, he should keep his head clear. The only thing he should think of right now is surviving. But their ship is destroyed, they have no captain, half of their crew is dead. Surviving becomes less like a plan more like hope.

When Hikaru finds out Krall is going to attack Yorktown, he feels his legs threatening to give out from underneath him. With coordinates altered, there’s no way they can alert Yorktown of an incoming attack, and now the distress signal they delivered has left the station unguarded. Krall will wipe them in seconds, millions of innocent souls, just because he doesn’t stand for what the Federation believes him. The ideology that motivates him to join Starfleet in the first place.

He wonders if it’s what the others signed up for. Peace, harmony. Images of two of his crew members screaming as Krall drains their lives flash behind his eyelids. God, he didn’t even know their names. Will Krall take more? Who will be next? His gaze falls on Ensign Syl, who's revealed to him where exactly the artifact is. The Captain doesn't have the artifact with him. Hikaru doesn't know if it's good news. The highest thing on his priority list now is to keep that a secret. 

He sits down and takes out Demora’s picture. It’s got creases now from him squeezing it earlier, but Demora’s face never fails to cheer him up.

“She’s adorable,” Uhura says, sitting down beside him. She doesn’t say, _W_ _e’ll get out of here alive. You’ll come home to her_. She knows better. Her necklace glints in the dark. Hikaru smiles, small and discreet.

“She is,” he says. “Picks up after me, obviously.”

Uhura laughs. It’s a little sad, withdrawn. Hikaru twirls the photo between two fingers. “How old is she now?” Uhura asks. “Five, right?”

“Going on six in six months, yeah,” Hikaru nods.

“I bought her a little book I found while we were on shore-leave,” Uhura coughs awkwardly. “Um. Spock and I, actually. It’s a little ancient, a true classic. It's from that time in the 21st century where humans thought of the future as a dystopian community. It's an interesting read, gives her perspective. Of course, it’s probably ripped to shreds and floating somewhere in space by now.”

“It’s the thought that counts,” Hikaru assures.

“I think everyone got her a little something,” Uhura continues. “Jim got her a little cat keychain. Scotty bought her a build-yourself starship miniature—I think he made it himself. I have no idea what Chekov got her, he was real secretive about it, but he swears it’s not something alcoholic or illegal.” Hikaru can’t help but laugh at that. “Even Ensign Syl got her a gift.”

“That’s… thanks,” Hikaru says, truly touched. “I know you guys love her, but this means a lot to me.” Uhura smiles warmly. He’s glad that this is the environment his daughter grows up in, full of role models she can look up to. “I’m supposed to be with her today. Career Day. Wants to show off her papa to everyone in the classroom.”

Uhura touches his upper arm comfortingly. “You’re going to make it back.”

“Yeah,” Hikaru tries to believe. “The Captain always saves our asses. I’m just not sure if she won’t be royally pissed at me. Angry five-year-olds are basically Klingons.”

Uhura snickers at that. A loud sneezing noise interrupts the conversation. Keenser, still sick, stares helplessly at the green slime he snorts out. A couple of new ensigns step away from the sizzling of goo, looking scared, while other red shirts, used to Keenser’s quirks, just laugh and pat Keenser’s back, wishing him a speedy recovery.

“I made them move,” Hikaru blurts out. “I didn’t ask them, no, but he suggested it. He wanted for him and Demora to be closer to me. And now I’ve put them in danger.”

“No, you didn’t,” Uhura is quick to say. “There’s still time, and as long as Krall doesn’t have the Abronath, they’re safe.”

Uhura speaks too soon. Out of the corner of his eyes, Hikaru spots Krall’s approaching form. He’s angry. Hikaru rises, stands in front of his crew to protect them instinctively. “Where is the Abronath?” Krall bellows, taking him down by the hair. Hikaru gasps, and feels an excruciating pain as life begins to seep out of him, too sudden for him to scream. _This must be death_ , he thinks.

His mind goes to Demora first. The apologies that he would never be able to tell her. All the dreams she would accomplish and all the dreams she would have later in her life. All the birthdays he's missed, all the birthdays he would miss. He wouldn't live to see her growing up, wouldn't even live to walk her to her first day of elementary school, or her first fucking Career Day. Ben would be a single father. God, what would Ben do? He’s a full-time Dad, and starting a business in Yorktown is tricky. Starfleet would support them for the first six months after his death, then what?

He knows where the artifact is. Syl is close, not even five feet away, barely restraining herself from leaping at Krall. All he has to do is yell out her name. Then he will live. He can come home.

He keeps his mouth shut.

"I'll give you what you want!" Syl screams.

Krall loses his grip on his hair instantly. Hikaru crumbles to the ground, weak, shaking. Syl hands over the artifact, and the crew watches in terror as Krall holds the artifact above them, leering. "Unity is your weakness," he spits out.

 _That's not true_ , Hikaru wants to say. He has no energy to. His breathing is all over the place, and he feels cold. Hands move to pull him up, but he feels dead on his feet. He can only watch as Manas yanks Uhura and Syl away from the rest of the crew, forcing them to walk.

Fear thrums underneath his skin. Krall has the Abronath. All it takes to obliterate all life forms in Yorktown is for his swarm to take off, and it won’t take long. The Captain still hasn’t shown up. Hikaru doesn’t even know if he’s still alive. He finds strength to stand upright and face his crew. Terrified eyes look back at him.

“We’re losing,” someone mumbles.

Hikaru closes his fists and tells himself, _You’re not allowed to lose hope_.

And that’s when Bones comes in.

He feels the electric pull that comes with being transported, and when he opens his eyes, he’s aboard of a ship. At first he thought Scotty managed to rebuild Enterprise, but his surroundings are too dark, too unfamiliar to be the Enterprise. It takes a while to get accustomed to the fact that this is USS Franklin, lost in history eons ago.

More bedtime stories for Demora.

In the background, Scotty is actively arguing with the Captain, technicalities and engineer talks. It feels oddly calming, as if they’ve never gone through the Nebula and still in the Enterprise, somewhere in the galaxy in their five-year mission. The fear in his veins hasn’t yet subsided, now sharing space with determination, fueling his adrenaline. He has a shot at coming home, at saving Yorktown, his family.

He makes the ship fly.

-

Yorktown is chaos when Hikaru pilots the ship out of the waterway, crashing into the three ships that belonged to Krall. He knows the civilians have been evacuated, Chekov has done the biological scan, still his mind is running crazy with worry. The Captain is off again risking his life to save Yorktown. His worry is lessened a little as McCoy reports himself and Spock to still be airborne, catching the Captain just in time before he plummets into outer space.

Hikaru wastes no time as the red alert is lifted. He runs to the plaza, searching for his husband and daughter. Demora sees him first, struggling to get out of Ben’s hold to run on wobbly legs across the plaza for him. He bends down on his knees to gather her into his arms.

Relief floods him. He feels light, like a ton of weight has been lifted off his shoulder. Ben catches up with them, and Hikaru finds the same expression on his face. Ben kneels and wraps his hands around them both. Hikaru didn’t realize he’s crying until Demora reaches up and wipes his tears with her tiny little hands.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I couldn’t make it to Career Day.”

Her laugh, for some reason, makes him cry harder.

"Let's go home," Ben says, muffled against his hair.

Their house is at the other side of Yorktown, still standing upright, away from the damages suffered in the battle. Demora won't let go of his hand the whole way back, as if afraid that he will go away again, as if he still has a ship to pilot by the time the artificial night crawls in. Ben has no energy to cook real food, so they eat instant noodles for dinner, but it's the best meal Hikaru has ever had in a while. When it's time to sleep, Demora sneaks into his and Ben's bed and insists on sleeping with them. Hikaru will never stand a chance against her puppy eyes, not that he's capable of saying no to Demora on good days. He makes space for her daughter between him and Ben, and Demora holds both of her fathers' hands before drifting off to sleep. Ben follows soon after, worn out, and yet Hikaru can't seem to close his eyes.

Around 0200, he gives up on pretending to sleep and slinks outside. He makes himself tea. Not the sad excuse that the machine-generated ones are, but the ones from actual leaves Ben's mother sends them every month. He doesn't immediately feel alright, but the smell does relax him a little, and he sighs deeply.

"And here I thought you've flown off somewhere across the galaxy again," Ben says.

Hikaru looks up from his mug. "Why would I, when they have nothing that tastes not even half as good as this?" he raises his mug, aiming for lighthearted, but he's a fool if he thinks Ben can't see right through him.

Ben takes three steps forward and reaches for the mug, setting it down with a barely audible clink on the counter. "You don't have to be brave all the time," he tells him quietly, and Hikaru can only stare at him in silence, wondering how the hell he got so lucky before crashing into his arms. The choked off sound that's torn out of him is almost a sob. His hands latch onto the back of Ben’s shirt, bunching up the fabric in his fist. He feels desperate. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” Ben is saying, whispering the words to his hair, “I’m here. You’re here. We’re here.” 

He doesn’t know how long they stay like that. “You smell like smoke,” Hikaru says, when they pull apart.

“Yeah, we kinda got evacuated late,” Ben hums. His fingers reach for Hikaru’s again. Something must’ve changed in his expression. Fear, guilt, exhaustion all mixed together. “But we’re okay. We’re not injured. In fact, I think I should be the one asking you that.”

Hikaru turns his face away. Reaches for the mug again, lukewarm by now. He stares at the brown liquid sloshing inside the container, like waves in mornings in San Francisco. “Yeah, um,” he stutters, leans his hip against the counter just to have something to hold on to. It’s hard to look Ben in the eyes. “Krall was… inhuman.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” Ben interjects quickly. When Hikaru meets his eyes, they’re pained, as if he’s the one who’s had his life sucked out of him.

Hikaru shakes his head. “No, no. I want to tell,” he affirms. “Krall had this bioweapon that, uh, drains the life out of a living thing. Like, literally. Through that, he’s able to gain more life. I saw their corpses,” his voice grows quiet. “They… look horrifying.”

Ben’s face falls. “Did—Krall—“

“Yeah,” Hikaru nods. “I didn’t die, obviously, but uh, I did feel it. Life draining out of me.”

Ben doesn’t say anything. After a while, he takes the mug from Hikaru’s hands, and sets it on the counter. It must’ve been cold by now. Hikaru grasps Ben’s hand, runs his thumb over his knuckles. “Our crew has a piece that will bring the weapon to completion. Arbonath. He threatened to kill me if we didn’t give it over.” He closes his eyes, remembering Syl. “And one of our crew members, a new ensign, she relented.”

“Is she…?”

“Dead.”

“I’m so sorry.”

There’s nothing that Hikaru can say to that. He’s sorry, too. But it doesn’t bring Syl back. It doesn’t erase the horrible things he’s seen in the last 48 hours. “I tried to tell her not to,” Hikaru admits, and he feels ashamed, afraid Ben would think that Hikaru would leave his family just like that. “And the whole time, I thought of you. Of Demora. Of the two of you. I didn’t want to die, but I don’t—“

This is his home.

Ben slowly loses his grip, and Hikaru is afraid that he’s angered him, that Ben will realize Hikaru’s not worth the trouble and leave him. But Ben takes his face in his hands and kisses his forehead. Hikaru feels loved.

“You don’t have to choose between this family,” Ben says, “and the family you’ve made in space, Hikaru.” Hikaru’s breath is caught in his throat. “I know what I signed up for when you asked me out, all those years ago. What you do—you love it, and I will never forgive myself if you take the stars out of you for me.” Forehead pressed together, he continues, “Because I know you love us, too. It’s why Demora and I moved here, it’s why we wanted to.”

“God,” Hikaru chokes out, “What the hell did I do to deserve you?”

Ben’s answer is a kiss on his lips.

“Now go back to sleep,” Ben orders.

It’s not funny, but Hikaru laughs. “Aye aye, Captain.”

-

Breakfast later start on a happier note. Hikaru wakes up to an empty bed and the smell of toast wafting in the air. He walks into the kitchen to find Demora and Ben bustling about, making breakfast. Demora hands him the ingredients, and Ben cooks them. When Demora catches sight of him, her face lights up. She immediately runs towards him, but not before she places the eggs she’s carrying carefully on the empty bowl next to the stove.

“Good morning!” she says, hugging his legs.

Hikaru picks her up. His heart is the warmest it’s been in years. “Good morning, Dumpling,” he greets. “What are you making?”

“Olette,” Demora answers.

“Omelette,” Ben corrects kindly.

“Olette,” Demora insists. “Prettier.”

“I like olettes,” Hikaru grins.

“Come on,” Ben says, only pretending to be annoyed. “Don’t encourage her.” He cracks the eggs, and they fall sizzling on the pan. Hikaru has forgotten how eggs smell like. Food on the Enterprise comes from a machine. While Scotty does his best to make them taste like the real thing, it’s nowhere close to this.

“Oh, Dr. McCoy called your comm while you were asleep,” Ben mentions.

“Bones?” Hikaru says, puzzled.

“Uncle Len?” Demora says, excited.

“Apparently today’s Captain Kirk’s birthday? He’s holding a surprise party for him,” Ben says, sliding the cooked eggs to a serving plate. “He’s sent the details to your PADD.”

“It’s Uncle Jim’s birthday?” Demora parrots. She turns to Hikaru, obviously psyched. “Papa, can we go? Can we please go?”

Ben meets Hikaru’s eyes worriedly. “Demora, dear, I don’t think the event’s open for public—“

“Nonsense,” Hikaru shakes his head. “Of course the invitation’s extended to you two. Especially you.” He bumps his nose against Demora’s. His little girl giggles. She always loves when he does that. “Now we just have to find him a gift. What do you think we should give him?”

“Why don’t you go draw him something?” Ben suggests.

Demora gasps. “Daddy, you’re a _genus_!”

“Genius,” Ben corrects patiently. “But only after breakfast, okay?”

After breakfast, Demora spends the entire morning drawing. In the end, she draws Jim standing on the bridge with the rest of the Alpha shift crew. Over them, she draws a banner that proclaims Jim to be the best captain in the whole galaxy. It’s just stick figures in different shirts and hairstyles, but when the Captain receives it, he looks like a Christmas tree.

“Did you draw this?” he asks, his blue eyes wide. Demora nods shyly. “Oh, I love it! Thank you so much, Dumpling. I think you’ve made the happiest man on Yorktown today.” Demora giggles and runs away, hiding behind Ben’s legs.

“Careful, Mr. Sulu, you have competition,” Dr. McCoy remarks.

Hikaru chuckles, “Happy birthday, Captain.” The Captain makes a dismissive waving gesture.

“It’s Jim, Mr. Sulu,” he says.

“Then you should probably call me Hikaru,” Hikaru tilts his head in Ben’s direction. “Or Ben would probably be confused why you’re asking him about the external inertial dampeners.”

The Captain—Jim—laughs. The tired lines have disappeared from his forehead, Hikaru notices. Jim still appears worn out, and his smile still feels like he’s forcing himself, but there’s an undeniable twinkle in his eyes that means happiness. “Cheers, Jim,” Hikaru puts up his glass.

“So, I heard about Demora’s Career Day,” Jim starts conversationally. “Uhura told me.”

Hikaru makes a face. “Yeah, they put the whole station on red alert before it could happen.”

“Well, about that, I was thinking,” Jim moves forward, an uncertain look on his face, “that when the school restarts, we all could go together with you. To Career Day. Like, the seven of us.”

“You’d do that?” Hikaru says.

“Of course,” Jim nods. “We all love Demora. We have six months, and might as well do something the Admirals would approve of, right?”

Demora’s laughter echoes of the high ceiling of the venue. He hears Chekov’s voice, saying, “Come out, come out, wherever you are!” somewhere in the party. Hikaru looks back at his captain and sees him for he truly is. Not the arrogant, cocky bastards that Starfleet made him out to be, but a sincere, genuine person who wouldn’t hesitate to lay down his life for the people lucky enough to be close to him.

Hikaru has always thought himself lucky to have two families. One with Ben and Demora, and one aboard the Enterprise. He recalls what Ben said, about choosing between families, and Hikaru realizes now that he didn’t have to. Since the start, he really only has one. This crew of ragtag space explorers who always find themselves in trouble, no matter which part of the galaxy they are in, they’re as much as a family as Ben and Demora are. The Enterprise is his home, as well, up in space is where he belongs, with the new or the old ship. He's never had to choose. 

“I think she’d like that,” Hikaru smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> 5) hit me up on [tumblr](mighty-poffertjes.tumblr.com) and talk sulu headcanons to me. <3 thank you for reading!


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